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Survival is the Concept

There are an array of things that moms go through but none ideal as to what awaits them when the become stay at home moms. Not that this is a bad thing and majority of the time this is a choice in which a mom has chosen this route. She feels that their are more benefits vs. the way she has been currently living. When you become a stay at home mom just like any other job but without the SANITY in a sens.

Yes you gave up you 9 – 5 because:

  • You want to raise you children
  • Educate them in depth the way you want
  • Have more bonding time
  • Or you simply want to do you own thing and just be a mom

The reasons are infinite but with the pros you best bet is that the cons are not that far behind.

What does it mean to become a stay at home Mom?

We have already addressed some reasons as to why you may want or become a stay at home mom. On the other hand there is a bigger picture here.

  • Losing your identity. You were a bright and vibrant woman who always kept herself up now your wearing pj’s with banana nut squash on it.
  • Missing adult interaction: Not being able to hang put with your friends on you lunch break, Not really leaving the house unless you have to
  • Financial dependence on another: Having to depend on you spouse to obtain the finances that you may have
  • Answering unnecessary questions: What made you become a stay at home mom?, you don’t miss going to work everyday?

This is what you should consider when you become a stay at home mom, now if your like me you simply don’t care because this was a good decision based off of my family and income. No matter what your reasons are if you can get through this then you got it. Disregard the baby and yet keep moving, keep inspiring others when they ask “Do you like being a stay at home mom?”

I love it but that’s just me I have endured 2 if not all things listed above and I am steadfast about my decision, why because I am m e and what matters at the end of the day is my family.

How do you as a SAHM survive?

There are days when I just want throw the towel in and lock myself in my room but some of us don’t have that luxury and so we have to bite the bullet and deal. When I first started this journey I kept thinking to myself I cant do this. There would be times when I would call my husband overwhelmed and upset because everything was chaos. But once I got the hang of it I found that as long as I have a structured plan then my day would stop being so hectic. It’s really simple if I can do it then so can you.

Steps to How I Survive

  • Get you a game plan ready the night before….
  • Grab a little bit of fresh air take an outing…
  • Look for free things such as museums or the aquariam …
  • Exchange your number with other mom don’t be scared this can lead to play dates, social interaction for both you and your child|ren….
  • Exercise. …
  • Do something for yourself once per week (at least), engage in a want it’s okay you have earned it. …
  • Make the time you spend with your kids memorable

This also goes hand in hand with patience and I can honestly say that I lacked this very detail. I know that when I had my children I had to learn this concept really fast, kind of a sink or swim ordeal. I chose to swim because my kids and family mean the world to me.

Lacking Patience?

How can I be a patient mom is what I used to ask myself and each time I fell short even after I heard my first daughter it was smooth sailing. As she got older however I found that I was becoming extremely overwhelmed very fast. This is not a good trait to possess and so I decided that I was going to fix it because nothing god could come from that. It would just lead me down a road of self destruction. So lets figure out how we can be more productive in becoming patient.

  • Count to 10. (gives you a chance to step back from the situation)
  • Deep breaths
  • What would mom do? …
  • Weigh out you options…(How does this help?)
  • Take a break.
  • Laugh

Counting

Now when I say counting there is no right and wrong way to do this it’s as simply as it sounds but the overall outcome is that it works. It’s kind of like while you are counting you meditating, making sure that while you are counting you are also remaining calm.

Deep Breath…

Take a minute to step back from the situation and take deep deep breaths before just reacting this gives you time to analyze the situation, weighing the good and the bad outcomes.

What would Mom do?

Now be rational because you are a mom and your not just going to go off the rails and start throwing a tantrum. You have to be rational as if it was ever a choice. So ask yourself again “What Would Mom DO?

Find a Solution, Act on a Teachable Moment

Life’s lessons are what stay embedded in our children even after we are gone so embrace them with open arms knowing that instead of yelling you made the right decision as a MOM.

Weighing the good and the bad?

We all have choices but it’s the choices you make that will affect you forever. Make a mental list of the good and the bad and what would be your best possible outcome for the decision at hand.

Should I take a break?

Hmmm, should you take a break well geez let me think. A lot of people say that your a mom you don’t get or need breaks. A mom is sometimes discussed as an around the clock type job, you don’t have free time when you became a mom you gave that all up.

Well I beg to differ I am a mom of 3 and I take breaks if and when I need them. I’m not saying your having a bad day and the kids have drilled you down and you are on your last leg you just lock yourself in you bedroom. Simply ask your significant other if they can lend a helping hand. Or lay your children down for a map, I am a firm believer in naps. Why, you may ask because that’s my time to just be me not mom just for an hour out of they day. If you follow the tips i’m sharing then this may be rarely used.

Laugh out Loud…

We sometimes forget that we are all human and each of us has an imperfection somewhere but we are not as perfect as we may thing. We are in fact imperfect in a sense so In saying so things do happen, sometimes you just have to embrace it. Like your toddler sees his grandparents through a glass and runs into the glass. Although you may be scared that they are hurt you have to laugh because it doesn’t occur to you yet how the glass was not seen.

-Laughable Moment

What are your thoughts on this topic?

Finances at Dead Center

Okay lets talk about that one thing that we hate to talk about Finances. That one little thing that you know pretty much is a major part of our lives, i’ve always found it ironic that it has always been down played or frowned upon to discuss this. Hey what’s one bad apple out the bunch I going to address it.

As you know I am a stay at home mom of 3 wonderful girls so I have to be aware of the amount of money that is being spent within and outside of the necessities of what my family needs. What are the main necessities you might ask…

  • Shelter
  • Electric
  • Food
  • Water

Those are the main components on which we rely to support us and our families. So let’s get smart how would you map this all out. I would go for the main necessities first and pay them. Then I would break it down even further to items that I may either

  • Want
  • Need

I place them in bullets because I want to emphasize although this may be a very hard task this is reality there’s no way around it. So say my list would look different from another person’s list because no mom or person is the same.

Somethings I may need.

  • Clothes (family)
  • Shoes (family)
  • Car

You get my point now on the other hand what are some of my wants?

  • Hair Products
  • Beauty Products

So on and so forth, but you kind of get the feeling that after you map this out what matters the most is what you NEED. So how do we get to a place where we want to be and can occasionally enjoy a variety of things on our want list. Yes we are all thinking it BUDGETING. That’s all it really takes and I am going to show you how. If your a mom like me then your thinking okay things happen unexpectedly and you need to be prepared. Some people have this mindset that they may be above being a low income family. That’s okay, but having a low income family show’s you that anything can become accomplished just by being frugal in certain places.

How can you start a low income family?

Come on we are almost there to accomplishing a budget outline let’s not give up and start thinking that this is never going to work. I am saying to you trust me and I will help you through the finish line. So these would be the steps in which you can take

  • Start a budget
  • Live within your budget
  • Cut down on wants
  • Get another form of income
  • Downsize
  • Shop around
  • Use coupons

Budget

We addressed this earlier on but I am going to strongly remind you once again about Needs vs. Wants let’s stick to it. The first mission is to get everything in order. So say for instance

  • Necessities (Bills)
  • Needs
  • Wants

It is as simple as that once you get these categories going you will be able to sort everything out and be more efficient when it comes to your bills.

Living Within Your Budget

When I say live within your budget that’s exactly what I mean, so say for instance if you have a budget that is already set up. Now this budget has been made around your income so you are now at a point where you know what you can and cannot afford due to your budget.

Now this doesn’t mean you have to abide by the budget you can go out there and splurge on a 2020 bmw knowing that you cant afford it chances are that’s what I call a lose, lose situation. In your mind you believe that you are gaining something but in reality your really not. Yeah I’m going to give you this BMW and loan but if you cannot pay I’m going to destroy your credit, take your car, and the icing on the cake is that they have made off with you money as well.

See Lose, Lose

Let’s be smart folks and stay in the lane where you can feel the sun on your face and the relaxation in knowing that you made a great choice by living COMFORTABLY snug within that lovely safety jacket called a budget.

Let’s get smart

Income

We all need income in order to maintain our way of living and so the best idea would be to have 2 incomes if you have children. Now i’m not saying that you have to have a second job I’m simply saying it’s good to have another one. I have survived with 3 children off of one income so I know that it can be done but is that really how you want to live. Yea me either and so I developed a second income.

Your looking at it, yes a good old blog where I can be me and do what I love to do which is being a mom and writing it’s the to main things that I am good at. Not to say that i’m not good at other things but this is a passion of mine I love it.

Oh just an idea we should find jobs that make us happy not that we dread getting up to go to, what life is that. You only get one life why live it the way you want not the way it’s expected of you. (Learned that the hard way).

Anyway another source of income gives you wiggle room and the ability for the bills to be paid amongst the two not just one. So I say let’s be productive when there is a will there is a way find your idea for a form of income that suites you.

Now I know downsizing isn’t your first choice but…

Downsizing when you are on a budget or fixed income may be pheasable because you see it’s not just about you it’s about your family. Think about it this way you went out and rnted a 1200 dollar townhouse but you know you can only afford 800. It’s like your setting yourself up for failure, now say you found a smaller townhouse that will suite you family and save you and your spouse money. Which one is the better alternative. Let me speak more plainly,

  • Family + Big House = Debt
  • Family + Budget friendly home comfortable for you and your family = comfortability, you get to keep you sanity, have extra money

I think you get the point so let’s be comfortable with extra cash vs having problems with something that isn’t affordable in the first place. Materialistic doesn’t matter when your broke with no where for you and your family to go.

What you mean you don’t shop around?

We all know that we have had these moments when we go into the store and see something that we need but it’s too high you see so you get that motivation to find it somewhere else. That’s what I mean by shopping around nothing nitty gritty but straight to the point.

Share Time.

So this morning I went to the store with my husband and I’m looking for something in particular, something that I know the price for and so on. Anyway we arrive at the walmart and we are in electronics sp we found something sort of like what I was looking for but not exaclty and it cost 40 bucks. I would have had to buy the piece as well as the hdmi now it has went up to 50 bucks.

What! OMG! You will never catch me paying that amount of money for something I can get cheaper. My husband says no your not going to find it, what if you get all the way to the other store and they don’t have it either.

I looked at him and said I know what I brought and I’ll show you that I can save a buck. I went to the other location low and behold I found the same piece that I was l was looking for and ll for 16 bucks.

#moneysaver

Coupon Queen in the flesh.

When it comes to shopping for a family of 3 I know me personally I am always looking for the best sale because it’s about saving money to be used in a different place. Why pay full price for something that you ca save on, why because your ashamed, don’t want to hold up the line, or not sure if they can be used for a specific item. Either way it’s a lost because you didn’t try, sometimes being a mom means that you have to bite the bullet.

I used to be that mom that didn’t want to us coupons because it holds up the line but when I did it was a game changer. After I had seen that I g=had saved money I said oh no what’s a couple more minutes for scanning a coupon that could help me financially? So yes don’t say you are not a coupon clipper because it has great benefits and rewards at the end of that road.

How can I save money after I become a low income family?

  • Keep housing costs down including utilities (pay on time avoid extra fees= more money)
  • Stay out of debt
  • Keep entertainment cost down (Ditch the cable start streaming)
  • Buy only when necessary (self explanatory)
  • Get a handle on grocery expenses (If you can’t afford to be vegan with a family of 4 then don’t be realistic.)
  • Automate savings. (If you no good at saving money some of us aren’t no judgment)

How do you manage monthly expenses?

I used to map out all of my billed on a lined sheet of paper and dress it up really nice but it just so happens that while I was in Walmart I came across something awesome.

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Pen-Gear-Pg-Asst-Wkly-Plnr-Pad-60-Sheets/606485013

yes I got a steal on this and not only was it a need but a want as well see win| win for me and possibly you if they sell these near you. $2.47 is what this little booklet is and it gives you a page for each week. All the categories make it easier for you to save as well. Some of the columns you may see is

  • Mortgage/ Rent
  • Groceries
  • Cars
  • Monthly Bills
  • Entertainment
  • Health
  • Clothing
  • Other Expenses

It just simply doesn’t get any better than this. Okay now that I have overwhelmed you with a lot of knowledge what are you going to do moving forward. I’ve broken down how you ca achieve your goal went over all the steps the choice is for you to make.

Thanks for Reading Hope To See You Soon!

Stay At Home Mom, (S|A|H|M)

A lot of times I get asked a question that some moms dread hearing, What do stay at home moms do ? Depending on how you act it can come off sort of like, you stay at home all day and do what? Believe it or not we have to accept that some people just don’t see this as a professional job you see. Although this may be true to them it’s not to us, the hard working stay at home mom job. It’s not easy being a mom and so yes we must work hard at it.

What Is A Stay At Home Mom?

S|A|H|M

Most people say that to them a stay at home mom is just someone who stays home and tends to her kids. This maybe true but only half, here in today’s society it is looked at differently. The most common definition now would be a “mom that stay’s home to care for her children as well as manage her home”.

In the more earlier time it was referred to as a mom who has made a decision to either completely stop working and be a mom, or she still works and is a Mom. Most mom’s plan to have their children and return to work.

Some of us tend not to go back simply because we don;t trust others with our children or just simply want to home school our children. Homeschooling is just a different more efficient way to teach your children.

There are so many things that tie into this that it’s outrageous to not think that this is a job., we get up everyday and although we may not be headed to any official building to work, we work behind the scenes helping to mold our children into good respectable people for society.

What Should A Stay At Home Mom’s Do?

We raise our children of course that right there is enough but knowing us as mom we are over achievers.

What are the duties of a S|A|H|M?

  • Keep kids tidy
  • Makes sure kids are fed
  • Keep kids clothed
  • Sharing education and knowledge with children (Reading)
  • Incorporate fun activities

Now I Know myself when it comes to education no I don’t stick my kids in front of the television and say okay now it’s learning time. No, we read, complete workbooks, interactive game play 1 hr./day. There are so many ways for your children to learn it all takes patience. Being a mom takes Patience.

How are stay at home moms productive throughout the day?

Some moms are busy bee’s during the day while caring for their little one and balancing out their normal work schedule. I’m just simply a stay at home mom so I am going to share with you my insights on this. We know as moms there are so many things o do in a day, I mean think about it’s not just you and your husband anymore.

In a normal productive day I:

  • Wake up before the kids
  • Have some tea
  • Work on my blog
  • Prepare for the day
  • Make a to do list (To keep up with daily tasks)
  • Wake up my husband of course
  • Get the kids ready
  • Serve a healthy and delicious breakfast (perfect way to start everyday)
  • Transport my eldest to school
  • Return home and engage with my toddler and baby (We will cover this schedule later)
  • Clean
  • Cook (Lunch)
  • Set kids down for nap time
  • Read a book, Listen to music, Conduct reasearch
  • Pick up my eldest from school
  • On to dance!

My day may seem hectic to most of you but hey i’m a mom and in between the cracks if I think of something else that I can be doing to be more productive and efficient throughout the day, I like to throw them in. These are what I refer to as my “monkey wrench days”, I always get diverted somewhere else and my focus shifts but I love variety so I’m okay. Everything will and does fall into place.

P.S

Being a stay at home mom has it’s perks but it is the ability that I have to get things done and spend more time with my kids while teaching them means the world to me.